What I Learned In Kindergarten

Garrett has finished his first week of Kindergarten. Every morning Garrett puts on his clothes, makes himself presentable, has a little breakfast, and heads out the door with his daddy. Chris and Garrett meet Isabela and her family along the way and join the masses of parents who are all filing toward the school. Garrett and Isabela go into the school together, but they attend different classes. Sometimes they share their lunch period and a recess, but there seems to be no predictable way of knowing how much they will see of each other at school. Isabela's mom and Mary and I go to pick up the kids after school and then we try to figure out what happened in the school day. Our interrogation goes something like this:

Question: How was your day at school?
Isabela: Great! I saw Garrett at lunch and I read a book to my class.
Garrett: Um... fine.

Question: Did you eat all of your lunch? (Mother of child starts to rummage through lunch box to determine what was eaten.)
Isabela: Well, I didn't eat all of my lunch. I ate one apple slice and only the white part of my hard boiled egg. And some of my milk.
Garrett: Yes.

Question: What exactly did you do at school today? Did anything special happen?
Isabela: Today we had music and I love the music teacher. The girls in my class were respectful to the teacher, but the boys had problems. Also, we learned about Jack and Jill. Did you know that a "crown" can mean more than a crown, such as a king's crown? A crown can also refer to an area of the head. Right here! (points to head). And did you know that in the nursery rhyme, "Jack and Jill" that when Jack falls down and breaks his crown, he does not actually break a crown like a king's crown, but he breaks his head!

While I am absorbing the morbid details of this story, Garrett proceeds to answer the above question.
Garrett: Um. I drew a picture of myself. And I lay down on my towel and I wasn't scared and there was some music and I didn't have a towel with characters on it, I just have a purple towel and that room was all dark.

Question: Did you use the bathroom?
Isabela: No.
Garrett: No. Um, mommy, did you know that if you have to go to the potty, you don't have to do like this (Garrett proceeds to grab his crotch and jump up and down with is hand in the air). You can just say, "Excuse me, I need to use the potty."

About this time the conversation circles back around to lunch with questions like, "Why didn't you eat your carrots? Did you not eat them because you were full, or because you don't like them? Or because you didn't have time? Why didn't you eat your chicken dinosaurs?

Garrett and Isabela: I WANT A CHICKEN DINOSAUR!
Mary: I want shicken dine-saur too!

We proceed to empty the lunches and pass out leftovers. Eventually we make it home and Isabela and Garrett beg to play with each other until dinner time.

Now, let's get back to this very educational issue of Jack and Jill! I'm aware that learning about rhymes are an important part of learning how to read. Got that. And I very much value learning about the multiple meanings of words. Love words! Love multiple meanings. But, is it really necessary to explain that Jack's head is busted open? I did a little research on this pleasant nursery rhyme. Turns out that Jack's head is not just busted open, it has been CUT OFF! Yes, friends, the innocent thirsty Jack that we all know and love, did not just go up the hill for a pail of water. He is purported to be Louis XVI of France, who was beheaded (lost his crown) and Jill is purported to be Marie Antoinette, who was beheaded after Louis (came tumbling after). No wonder nobody ate their lunch.