We're going to have to figure out a strategy for Mary's birthday. She turned 3 on November 1st, but none of us really had the energy or the interest in putting on birthday hats the day after Halloween. But we didn't want her to feel forgotten either. Garrett was the most excited about her birthday. Garrett gets excited about all birthdays! He keeps asking me if it's his birthday yet. I remind him that his birthday is in January. He reminds me that he is going to be six.
So Mary's birthday turned into a week long celebration, kind of like Hanukkah. On the first day of Mary's birthday--a Saturday--we sat around in sugar comas, exhausted from the Halloween festivities that occurred all week. Then, as if we hadn't all had enough of Halloween, we decorated spooky cupcakes for a Halloween party that Chris and I attended that evening. The Halloween cupcakes squashed all desire for birthday cake. Still, we all said happy birthday to Mary and she happily toted around the gifts from her grandparents until I told her she could open them. I was surprised that she could wait so long. When she finally opened the boxes, she was delighted with her puppets and pretty clothes.
Day 2 of Mary's birthday was a Sunday. We asked her if she wanted to go anywhere special and she chose the "Apple Buchard." That's apple orchard to everyone else. Off we went to enjoy the beautiful day. As usual, we purchased the homemade apple doughnuts and apple slushies and sought out a picnic table for doughnut feasting. There was a wild kitty that also wanted to join our birthday party and hopped up on the table to give Mary a birthday nudge. How cute. Then it revealed a mouth full of sharp teeth and stole her doughnut. That's right! It was a wild-fanged-doughnut-snatching cat! Garrett and Mary became very concerned about the fate of the rest of our treats and ate their remaining doughnuts cautiously, holding them above their heads between bites. The cat circled it's prey, but was not successful again.
After doughnuts, we rode the ponies and fed the goats--he usual apple buchard stuff. Mary was so taken in by the friendly ponies and goats that she decided to be pals with the chicken too. Apparently the chicken is of the same ilk as the cat; it pecked her on the arm and made her angry. She said, "Mommy! That chicken bothered me! Bad chicken." Now if you ask her about the apple orchard, she won't talk about the nice ponies, the treats, or the goats. She'll tell you about the bad kitty and the bad chicken.
On Day 3 Mary and I went to the stationary store to buy some birthday cards for other people and passed by the singing card section. I wanted to get a singing Star Wars card for Garrett's birthday. He saw it a few months ago and keeps reminding me that it's the card he wants for his birthday. I am worried that they will sell out or stop making it, so I'm buying it in advance. Of course my little birthday girl was not going to be left out of the singing card show and insisted, as only she can, on having one of her own. Her fingers became glued to a Tinkerbell card that sings, "You can fly, you can fly, you can fly!" when you open it up. Let me pause here to say that if any of you are trying to think of a birthday gift for a 3 year old, the singing card is your answer! Mary loves to make her card start singing and then make it stop. You never know how long she will allow the song to go on. Sometimes you just get a "You can!..." or a "You!..." or even a "Y!..." Mary carried the card with her for days and used it as her official greeting. If you asked her how she was doing, she simply opened the card in your face and presented you with "YOU CAN FLY!" Slam! She also took it to bed with her, as she does all precious objects.
On Day 4 of Mary's birthday, she got to go to Target and use the gift card that Aunt Elaina sent to her. When the gift card arrived in the mail I explained, "Mary this is a gift card. It's just like money and you can take it to the store and choose your own present." She very matter of factly said, "Oh, what a great idea!" So, off we went to Target to stroll the isles. I was curious to see what she'd pick out because I'm not really sure what she'd like for Christmas. It didn't take long for a clear theme to develop: she likes anything with Disney Princesses on it! In our cart we had Disney Princess Pens and a Craft Case, Disney Princess hats and gloves, Disney Princess hair brushes and mirrors, and a Tinkerbell jewelry box with fairies on it. I explained that her gift card would not cover all the stuff in the cart and she would have to put some things back. She said, "Nooo!" I said, "Yes!" Ultimately, I kept the two things she cried the hardest over when they went out of the cart. The winners were Tinkerbell box and Disney Princess Craft Case. She carried the box everywhere. It sat on her lap in the car, it went with us on our walk to Garrett's school, it sat next to her at the computer, and dinner table, and yes, it went into the bed.
Day 5 included a full exploration of everything in the craft case, as well as several puppet shows provided by me.
Day 6 was a blessed day of birthday rest.
Day 7 was a busy party preparation day and a play day because Garrett had the day off of school for parent-teacher conferences. The kids had a great day playing pirates, making treasure maps, and rearranging the furniture to fit with their maps.
On Day 8 we had a nice birthday party for Mary. We were joined by 3 other families for a glorified play date with cake. Mary loved her cake, which had a Tinkerbell suspended over the top of it. She also loved the enormous Princess Balloon that Isabela's family brought for her. She carried it with her everywhere, which made it very easy to find her. I just had to look for the Goodyear Blimp sized balloon. Later the balloon was inaugurated into the treasure trove otherwise known as Mary's bed.
On November 9th I officially declared Mary's birthday: OVER! Thanks to all of you who made her birthday special. Now kindly celebrate someone else's birthday. Garrett is accepting birthday offers as of today.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Hidden Camera
I'm thinking about installing a secret camera in Garrett's room. Don't worry, I'll take it out before he's old enough to object to the invasion of his privacy. I want the camera to record our bedtime ritual. If you saw it you'd either say, "Awwweee! How sweet." Or you'd throw up because it's too sweet. Here's what you would have seen if I had the magic camera on last night.
ACT I
I came back from the gym in a bit of a hurry because I'm due in Garrett's room about 7:30. It was 7:35 when I made it up the stairs. I entered Garrett's room and he shot up in the bed with a big relieved grin on his face. "Oh, mommy, I'm so happy to see you. Did you have a good time at your gym?"
"Yes, Garrett. Thanks for asking. I did all my exercises." I sat on the bed next to him. He got a worried look on his face.
"Mommy, is it hard for you to see out there, when you're in the car, when you're going to your gym in the darktime?"
"It's harder to see than it is in the day, but I have big flashlights on the front of my car that help me see in the dark."
"Big flashlights!"
"Yes. They're on the front. I'm sure you've seen them."
"Oh, I would like to see those! Can you show me sometime?"
"Yes. We can take a special ride one night and you can see that I am safe." I thought it was so cute that he was laying there concerned about my safety. I know he listens for the garage door and wonders if I will make it home in time to read him his stories. "Did you pick out your stories?" I asked him.
"Yes! I will get them." Garrett gets very excited when I go to the library and get us a new round of books. He is getting more interested in reading and wants to choose a word or phrase from the story to read when it comes along. Last night he chose "Hens Pens" and "One Dark Night." We read each book, pointing out our favorite parts, talking about the pictures, and arguing about which words rhyme.
ACT II
After stories, Garrett gets a impish grin on his face and says, "Okay, mommy! Now time for tickles!" He sits up in his bed and curls his fingers like a bear that's about to roar. He laughs in anticipation of how he's going to get me. Poor Garrett. My arms are longer than his. And I'm stronger. He doesn't stand a chance. I grab him and tickle his tummy and he laughs and screams, "Stop, stop! Do it again!" When he takes rest, he repositions himself and considers alternative strategies to gain the advantage.
Plan A: Put mommy at a disadvantage. He says, "Okay mommy, you only get me with one hand." That's fair. But he didn't say I couldn't hold him down with the other one! He's defeated again.
Plan B: See if mommy will surrender herself. "Okay, Mommy, hold your arms out like this and don't move!" he puts his arms out like an airplane, indicating that I should just make my armpits and stomach available to him without defense. I say, "No way!" He begs. I pretend to comply and then grab him as he gets close, tickling his tummy and sniffing air from his neck like a dog. He laughs and screams in a singular sound and says, "Stop! Stop!"
Plan C: Take mommy by surprise. I taught him this one and he should know better than to use my own strategy against me. "Oh, Mommy! Look at that big spider over there!" I don't fall for it, and then he gets desperate and starts to make up stuff that couldn't be real. "Oh, mommy, WOOK! A big purple monster is coming to get you. He's next to R2D2! You better look!" I have pity for him and look. Then I snap back and tickle him again.
Plan D: Take Mommy by complete surprise and strike randomly. This might work if he didn't get the cutest and most devilish looks on his face just before the strike. His eyes get super wide, his lips press together in an effort not to smile with his teeth, and his arm draws back. Gee, I wonder what's coming. I actually laugh hard as if someone has got me pinned and is tickling me relentlessly because I think he is so funny. It's like there is a ticklish spot on my heart and eventually Garrett finds it. This is why I need the camera. I want to capture all those looks of surprise and glee and mischief on his face. And on mine.
ACT III
After tickles, Garrett and I settle into the blankets for our songs. He tries to fake me out a few more times with Tickle Hugs (hugs that are just a trap!), but I calm him down and tell him that we will not have time for all the songs if he doesn't lay still. I ask him, "What song would you like me to sing?"
He says, "The longest song."
I say, "Okay. But would you like another song first?" He chooses Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Then he chooses You Are My Sunshine.
When I first started singing You Are My Sunshine to Garrett, he asked me, "Mommy, why would they take the sunshine away?" I struggle to find a way to explain it. I can imagine what he's thinking as he hears the words, You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away. I say, "Well, the person singing the song loves the person who they are singing to, and they don't ever want to lose him."
"Why would she lose him?" he asks.
"Sometimes it's not something that we can stop from happening." I want to tell him that he will never lose me. I want to tell him that I would be lost without him, but I know that this is too much information and that it isn't something I can promise.
I start singing the second verse: The other night dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms. When I awoke dear, I was mistaken, so I hung my head and I cried. I realize that in this verse the "sunshine" has already been taken, and I think sadly of my sister, Mary, and how I cling to her in my dreams. I remember that this is one of the only songs that we sang together often, but we did not give too much thought to all the words. We focused on the happy thoughts: you are my sunshine; my only sunshine; you'll never know how much I love you. And I realize that this is what Garrett hears. He is absorbing my love like a sponge and filtering out all my fear that I could lose him too. I think about how I will lose him in little ways over time. One day he will not want me to sing to him. He'll be on the phone with a girlfriend, or updating his Facebook page until he must turn out the lights. I'll be lucky to get a "'Night, mom."
I want the night to last forever, so I ask him, "Are you ready for the longest song?"
"Yes!" We face each other in the bed and he puts his arm around me. I am petting his hair. We both close our eyes. The "longest song" is Kathy's Song by Simon and Garfunkel. I started singing it to Garrett because it is near and dear to my heart and on the short list of songs that I have memorized.
Kathy's Song
I hear the drizzle of the rain
Like a memory it falls
Soft and warm continuing
Tapping on my roof and walls
And from the shelter of my mind
Through the window of my eyes
I gaze beyond the rain-drenched streets
To England where my heart lies
My mind's distracted and defused
My thoughts are many miles away
They lie with you when you're asleep
And kiss you when you start your day
And this song I was writing is left undone
I don't know why I spend my time
Writing songs I can't believe
With words that tear and strain to rhyme
And so you see I have come to doubt
All that I once held as true
I stand alone without beliefs
The only truth I know is you
And as I watch the drops of rain
Weave their weary paths and die
I know that I am like the rain
There but for the grace of you go I
Garrett does not ask me any questions about this song and I am glad. The song is about having someone on your mind, obstructing your thoughts--someone that you hold dear and admire and respect. Someone who is far away. I hope that as he comes to understand the words, he will know why I like to sing this song to him. I hope he will understand that he is never out of my mind. Even when he grows up and moves on from his childhood home, my thoughts will always be with him, kissing him when he starts his day, all of his young memories falling like raindrops in my mind. Thankfully, the magic of love is that you don't need a camera to remember it.
ACT I
I came back from the gym in a bit of a hurry because I'm due in Garrett's room about 7:30. It was 7:35 when I made it up the stairs. I entered Garrett's room and he shot up in the bed with a big relieved grin on his face. "Oh, mommy, I'm so happy to see you. Did you have a good time at your gym?"
"Yes, Garrett. Thanks for asking. I did all my exercises." I sat on the bed next to him. He got a worried look on his face.
"Mommy, is it hard for you to see out there, when you're in the car, when you're going to your gym in the darktime?"
"It's harder to see than it is in the day, but I have big flashlights on the front of my car that help me see in the dark."
"Big flashlights!"
"Yes. They're on the front. I'm sure you've seen them."
"Oh, I would like to see those! Can you show me sometime?"
"Yes. We can take a special ride one night and you can see that I am safe." I thought it was so cute that he was laying there concerned about my safety. I know he listens for the garage door and wonders if I will make it home in time to read him his stories. "Did you pick out your stories?" I asked him.
"Yes! I will get them." Garrett gets very excited when I go to the library and get us a new round of books. He is getting more interested in reading and wants to choose a word or phrase from the story to read when it comes along. Last night he chose "Hens Pens" and "One Dark Night." We read each book, pointing out our favorite parts, talking about the pictures, and arguing about which words rhyme.
ACT II
After stories, Garrett gets a impish grin on his face and says, "Okay, mommy! Now time for tickles!" He sits up in his bed and curls his fingers like a bear that's about to roar. He laughs in anticipation of how he's going to get me. Poor Garrett. My arms are longer than his. And I'm stronger. He doesn't stand a chance. I grab him and tickle his tummy and he laughs and screams, "Stop, stop! Do it again!" When he takes rest, he repositions himself and considers alternative strategies to gain the advantage.
Plan A: Put mommy at a disadvantage. He says, "Okay mommy, you only get me with one hand." That's fair. But he didn't say I couldn't hold him down with the other one! He's defeated again.
Plan B: See if mommy will surrender herself. "Okay, Mommy, hold your arms out like this and don't move!" he puts his arms out like an airplane, indicating that I should just make my armpits and stomach available to him without defense. I say, "No way!" He begs. I pretend to comply and then grab him as he gets close, tickling his tummy and sniffing air from his neck like a dog. He laughs and screams in a singular sound and says, "Stop! Stop!"
Plan C: Take mommy by surprise. I taught him this one and he should know better than to use my own strategy against me. "Oh, Mommy! Look at that big spider over there!" I don't fall for it, and then he gets desperate and starts to make up stuff that couldn't be real. "Oh, mommy, WOOK! A big purple monster is coming to get you. He's next to R2D2! You better look!" I have pity for him and look. Then I snap back and tickle him again.
Plan D: Take Mommy by complete surprise and strike randomly. This might work if he didn't get the cutest and most devilish looks on his face just before the strike. His eyes get super wide, his lips press together in an effort not to smile with his teeth, and his arm draws back. Gee, I wonder what's coming. I actually laugh hard as if someone has got me pinned and is tickling me relentlessly because I think he is so funny. It's like there is a ticklish spot on my heart and eventually Garrett finds it. This is why I need the camera. I want to capture all those looks of surprise and glee and mischief on his face. And on mine.
ACT III
After tickles, Garrett and I settle into the blankets for our songs. He tries to fake me out a few more times with Tickle Hugs (hugs that are just a trap!), but I calm him down and tell him that we will not have time for all the songs if he doesn't lay still. I ask him, "What song would you like me to sing?"
He says, "The longest song."
I say, "Okay. But would you like another song first?" He chooses Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Then he chooses You Are My Sunshine.
When I first started singing You Are My Sunshine to Garrett, he asked me, "Mommy, why would they take the sunshine away?" I struggle to find a way to explain it. I can imagine what he's thinking as he hears the words, You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know dear, how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away. I say, "Well, the person singing the song loves the person who they are singing to, and they don't ever want to lose him."
"Why would she lose him?" he asks.
"Sometimes it's not something that we can stop from happening." I want to tell him that he will never lose me. I want to tell him that I would be lost without him, but I know that this is too much information and that it isn't something I can promise.
I start singing the second verse: The other night dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms. When I awoke dear, I was mistaken, so I hung my head and I cried. I realize that in this verse the "sunshine" has already been taken, and I think sadly of my sister, Mary, and how I cling to her in my dreams. I remember that this is one of the only songs that we sang together often, but we did not give too much thought to all the words. We focused on the happy thoughts: you are my sunshine; my only sunshine; you'll never know how much I love you. And I realize that this is what Garrett hears. He is absorbing my love like a sponge and filtering out all my fear that I could lose him too. I think about how I will lose him in little ways over time. One day he will not want me to sing to him. He'll be on the phone with a girlfriend, or updating his Facebook page until he must turn out the lights. I'll be lucky to get a "'Night, mom."
I want the night to last forever, so I ask him, "Are you ready for the longest song?"
"Yes!" We face each other in the bed and he puts his arm around me. I am petting his hair. We both close our eyes. The "longest song" is Kathy's Song by Simon and Garfunkel. I started singing it to Garrett because it is near and dear to my heart and on the short list of songs that I have memorized.
Kathy's Song
I hear the drizzle of the rain
Like a memory it falls
Soft and warm continuing
Tapping on my roof and walls
And from the shelter of my mind
Through the window of my eyes
I gaze beyond the rain-drenched streets
To England where my heart lies
My mind's distracted and defused
My thoughts are many miles away
They lie with you when you're asleep
And kiss you when you start your day
And this song I was writing is left undone
I don't know why I spend my time
Writing songs I can't believe
With words that tear and strain to rhyme
And so you see I have come to doubt
All that I once held as true
I stand alone without beliefs
The only truth I know is you
And as I watch the drops of rain
Weave their weary paths and die
I know that I am like the rain
There but for the grace of you go I
Garrett does not ask me any questions about this song and I am glad. The song is about having someone on your mind, obstructing your thoughts--someone that you hold dear and admire and respect. Someone who is far away. I hope that as he comes to understand the words, he will know why I like to sing this song to him. I hope he will understand that he is never out of my mind. Even when he grows up and moves on from his childhood home, my thoughts will always be with him, kissing him when he starts his day, all of his young memories falling like raindrops in my mind. Thankfully, the magic of love is that you don't need a camera to remember it.
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